


Anniversary

by ffdemon



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alcohol, Alien Biology, Brotp, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fall of Lasan, Friendship, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Kanan and Zeb are bad at emotion, Kanera in the background, Memories, Mention fall of lasan, Mention of Kanan life before, Sorrow, Space Parents, Space family, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, before they have Sabine and Ezra, drunk, lasat Don't really cry, no sure how the Force work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-15 21:34:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8073490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ffdemon/pseuds/ffdemon
Summary: The bar is really dark, smelling like alcohol and other things that Kanan prefers don’t think about. He used to hide or works in places like this before he literally walks into Hera and she changed his life for the better. He never regrets what he learns in those dark alley and dirty bar but he is his happy to be away from those. Today he is there for another reason.He had he have a friend to bring back to the Ghost.Or Kanan finds Zeb in a bar at the anniversary of the fall of Lasan and plan to stay at his friend’s side during that bad night.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This fic is far from what I have in mind at first but after 6 months in my “in progress” files I can look at it anymore. 
> 
> Little headcanon swing in this work: Lasat doesn’t show sadness the same way as humans or some other near-human race does. Even if they have the capacity to shed tears it not because of emotion. It’s defensive mechanisms to keep their large eyes hydrate. 
> 
> They would physically show their sorrow by lowering their ears, dropping their shoulder and shiver. Instead of sob and tears it would be noise from the back of their throat that can be hard to ears for other races without the same level of hearing that lasat. Kitten and youngling would wail quite loudly but it quiet with time as they grow.

The bar is really dark, smelling like alcohol and other things that Kanan prefers don’t think about. Most of the patrons act like they haven’t seen him as he walks in but he could spot some of them reach for a weapon not so well hidden on them. He used to hide or works in places like this before he literally walks into Hera and she changed his life for the better. He never regrets what he learns in those dark alley and dirty bar but he is his happy to be away from those. Today he is there for another reason.

He had he have a friend to bring back to the Ghost.

The bar is surprisingly packed and noisy. Wouldn’t be the first place Kanan would have looked for some solitude but as he has heard many times before: misery loves company. He ignores the eyes on him as his eye swipe around the bar for the familiar purple form of Zeb. For a big lasat with a temper he has been really hard to find. 

Zeb has been so agitated and moody in the last week, more than he normally is, and it had Kanan and Hera worry. On their last two missions, Zeb has gone rogue and pick up fight with any imperial figure he has met along the way. Last time the lasat have acted in that kind of emotional state, it was when they first bring him to the Ghost after finding him half dead on Lasan. It has been a hard period of adaptation and to see Zeb going back to that kind of destructive behaviour has set Kanan instinct in alarm.  
So when Hera finds his cabin trash that morning and no lasat around they have feared the worst. As Kanan go to the closest city to find they’re his friend, Hera has stayed on the Ghost in case Zeb comes back while Chopper scan the Empire communication to make sure the Lasat didn’t get himself arrested or killed.

That is how Kanan has found himself here. He has followed a trail of knockout Stormtroopers to this part of the city and let his … guts guide him to this place. He begins to think he has a wrong feeling when he can’t see Zeb around until he hears a familiar growl coming from the back of the bar

Kanan head turns just in time to see a human been thrown half across the bar and crash between two tables. 

“That is your last warning bogar.” Zeb growl as he steps more in the light. His eyes are more glassy than normal and his accent more present around the “R” sound.

The human didn’t try his luck and run out, leaving the bar without further ado. The other customers stay quiet but they were all watching the lasat for tense seconds. Kanan’s hand his twitching around the handle of his blaster in case everything turns sours. Zeb let out another growl before he stumbles back until he sitting down at his table. 

Then, like nothing just happened, the bar jumps back to life. Kanan let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding and takes his communicator out. “Specter-1 to the Ghost. I found Specter-4.” He calls.

“Copy that Specter-1.” Hera answers. Kanan could hear she relieved by the news. There is a little pause before she adds more quietly. “Bring him home Kanan.”

“I will Hera. “He closes his communicator before he makes his way to the table Zeb is sitting at.

Kanan frown a bit seeing how many empty glasses there is on the table and that were as much of already full one. Even with his bartender experience, he couldn’t tell what was in those glasses. At the colour and texture probably something strong, cheap and local. Zeb eyes are fixed on the table top as one of his large hands is wraps around one full glass. He didn’t look badly hurt but he can see some dent in his shoulder plate, scrap on his knuckles and what look like small burn on the fur of his arms. Other than that he looks okay. Zeb let out a warning growl as Kanan walk closer as his ears move back against his skull.

“See you are making friends with the local and encouraging small business.” Kanan jokes before the lasat can say or do anything as he picks up a chair that has been knocked out during the skirmish.

The lasat's ears pick up at the familiar voice and he finally raises his head. Kanan could see that it takes a moment for Zeb to associate the image and the sound. His body language relaxes when he recognizes him.

“Karabast Kanan… I don’t need a babysitter.” He mumbles

“I thought you might appreciate a drinking partner.” Kanan says reaching for one of the full glasses but Zeb snatch it out of his grasp, spilling more on his hand and the table that anything. Kanan looks up at him raising an eyebrow trying to understand his action.

“You don’t drink… Or you stop drinking. Anyway, Hera will be pissed if I let you.” Zeb comments before he drinks the now half empty glass in one gulp. “She probably already mad at me…” He eyes down cast and ears falling to the side.

Kanan didn’t try to take another glass. He is surprised that the lasat remember a detail like this in his inebriety state. He rests his arms on the table and look at his friend. “She is more worried than mad at the moment. If you are lucky, she might even take pity and not scream at you until you are sober.” He teases him a bit but he keeps his eyes on him. Zeb seems to still be coherent but he is clearly drunk. That can make him more volatile. He doesn’t want to make him angry.

“That might take a while…”Zeb’s snort sadly as he takes a sip from his glasses.

“What is going on?” The human asks even if he has a good idea of why his friend is in that state.

“Don’t want to think… Not today.” Zeb answers and looks away.

Kanan nods understanding. One year ago the Empire clears up Lasan. One year ago Zeb have lost everything and everyone he ever knew. That only solidifies his resolution not to leave his friend alone. He raises his hand to catch the attention of a waitress and ask for a caf. She seems really surprise by his order but manage to get him some.

Zeb let out a long sigh shaking his head a bit. “Seriously Kanan… No need to stay and watches me get plastered.”

Kanan offers him a weak smile. “You need someone to watch your back and make sure you can find your way back.” 

Zeb only grunts something that really sounds like Lasani and keep drinking. Kanan copies him and they drink in silent for a long time, until Zeb is at his last glasses and Kanan at his third caf. Suddenly an urge wave of sorrow and sadness seems to hit Kanan in the chest. He wasn’t activity trying to read Zeb’s emotions but it’s so sudden and strong that he couldn’t ignore it.

The jedi raises his eyes to look at his drunken friend. Zeb’s ears are so low on the side of his head, the tips dangling and brushing against the side of his head. His large body is shivering slightly. Kanan never sees the lasat like this before and begin to worry that he might be near alcohol poisoning at this point. It’s about time he got him back to the Ghost but before Kanan can open his mouth, Zeb finally talks.

“It’s not working!” He growls. His voice is sounding like a mix of anguish and anger.

Kanan raises an eyebrow more confuse. “What is not working?” 

“All this…” Zeb replays showing the empty glasses with one of his large hands knocking some at the same time. Only Kanan reflexes manage to save them before they crash on the ground. “It’s supposed to help forget. I can only think about it. Everything is coming back…”He made a thoracic sound that Kanan never hears him do before as another shiver go through his body.

This time the human open himself to the Force to check on Zeb. He is expecting to feel some kind of sickness due to the alcohol but there was only a strong buzzing but nothing that could indicate anything was physically wrong. Just pain, sadness and sorrow. Zeb wasn’t sick… He is crying or an equivalent of it.

Kanan feel lost on what to do now. He is getting good at dealing with Zeb’s temper and outbursts, not that kind of feeling. It’s even harder when those feelings are way too familiar. He has faced the same after losing his master; trying to get himself as far away possible of what Caleb Dume have been and forget. 

Forget the way of the Force, Style, Grey, Stance….Master Billaba sacrifice. Janus Kasmir. Nothing has been able to erase everything and sometime everything come back full force. On a bad day like that everything tastes like Kaller’s garbage and smell like rain, dirt and blood. Lucky he didn’t have a day like this in a long time and now is no to the time to get one. His friend need is support. The human just hope he can give the lasat what he needs.

“Listen Zeb…” he begins but he I cut by the broad man gruff voice.

“I don’t like that nickname…” He mumbles

Kanan frowns at this. That was odd to hear that declaration because Zeb has been the one telling them to call him like that. “Do you prefer I call you Garazeb or event Orrelios.” He offers him some option. Drunk people can be hard to follow he reminds himself.

Zeb’s ears twitch a bit and he looks like he just bites in an unripe fruit. “Karabast no… You can’t pronounce the ‘R’ right.”

“Aright Buddy.” Kanan says softly. No need to agave him more. He gives him a few minutes to calm down before he talks again. “I know it doesn’t feel like it at this point but some day it will get a bit easier. Not now … but one day.” He says keeping his voice calm and gentle. The same tone master Billaba used to answers Caleb constant question. “It’s helped a lot to have people that care.”

Zeb’s right ears move up a bit more and look at him but stay quiet. Kanan takes that a good sign to continue.

“Hera and I care, buddy. Even Chopper in his weird way.” The human smiles softly. “What I want to say is that you don’t have to face this by yourself. We are a team. Hera already told you that, but you are welcome to the Ghost as long as you want and need.”

The lasat looks down at the table top and make a soft thoracic sound. He finally pushes the full glasses back with the empty one. “Think I have enough for tonight.”

Kanan smiles a bit. “Let’s get some water in you before we head back.” He says and gets up to go to the bar with the full glass. Better take that temptation as far away as he can. It takes him at least another half hour to make sure that Zeb is hydrated and manage to get him back on his feet. Luckily the lasat have pay for his drinks upfront Kanan only need to pay for his before they are on their way.

Going back to the ship it’s not an easy task with Zeb unsteady on his feet. More than once did he need to rely on Kanan not to lose his balance. At some point Kanan just put one purple arm around his should and let Zeb put some of his weight on him. The only moment Zeb insists on walking by himself is at the edge of the town when he needs to relieve is bladder. The human use that small break to call Hera again and tell her about the situation so she will know what to expect. When Zeb came back he seems a bit more alert. Lasat’ stamina is impressive but Kanan still holds on his friend.

When the Ghost is finally in view, Zeb stop death in his track. From where they stand Kanan can only see the light coming out from the open cargo hold but he knew that the lasat eyesight his better than his so he probably has spot something or mostly someone. Kanan has no doubt that Hera is waiting for them. He presses a hand in the middle of Zeb’s back and nudge him toward the ship. The lasat shake him up more and run his claw in his beard trying to look a bit more presentable. 

As the human have expected, Hera is waiting for them at the bottom of the ramp. She keeps a soft face but Kanan can see her lekkus move in a more relaxes position that they have been since Zeb disappears. 

Zeb is the first to talk. “Look Hera… I…” He begins stepping away from Kanan and rubbing the back of his head but she stops him.

“Not tonight.” She says softly shaking her head. “We will talk tomorrow.” She simply reaches up to give him a gentle hug. Zeb makes the same kind of low thoracic sound that he has done earlier and give her a one arm hug. He tries to stay stable as much as possible, but he stumbles a bit against the smaller twi’lek’s frame. Hera didn’t comment and just hugs him more tightly. They stay like this a bit longer than they would normally do but no one comment about it.

“Thank you.” He whispers when he finally steps back not meeting their eyes.

Hera squeezes his forearm and smiles softly. “Let’s go to bed… We all need it”

Zeb nods, turn to make his way to the ladder and hesitate at the bottom. It’s clear that he is thinking about his option. Kanan shares a look with Hera before he goes after him. “Come one Buddy. I will give you a hand.” He offers before the lasat decides to sleep on the cargo hold floor. Zeb’s body language is clear that he is not happy about it but let Kanan help him. It wasn’t an easy task with how cramped space is but they manage to get to the living quarter level. 

Zeb rests a bit more against Kanan a moment. “Karabast… Did that rust bucket make us jump to hyperspace?” He mumbles as he rubs his eyes and blink trying to focus. Seem that that walk back to the ship and that way up the ladder has wiped out all of Zeb remaining energy all the sudden.

“We still on the ground.”Kanan assures him as he helps him to his room. He was surprised to see that Hera has already clean up the worst of the damage and take the debris out of the way so Zeb can walk to bed and lay down without stepping on anything.  
The lasat mumbles something that Kanan didn’t catch as he let go of him, managing to make the few steps he need to cross the room and crash on the lower bunk. He is lying on his chest leg still resting on the ground and his torso turn in what look like an uncomfortable position even for someone as flexible as him.

Kanan shakes his head and moves to help Zeb to lay more comfortably. He smiles weakly at the protestation groan the lasat make. “You will feel miserable enough tomorrow no need to add back pain to the lot.”

With the human help, Zeb finally lay on his side facing the door. Last think Kanan wants his for him to be sick during the night and choke. As he finishes the door open letting Hera pass. Kanan step back and blink a bit seeing she was holding a pitcher of water in one hand and in the other one of the buckets they use to clean around the ship. She put both on the table before getting cup and a small bottle of pills out of the bucket and put them on the table.

Taking the bucket again, she walks next to the bed and let it on the ground by Zeb’s head. The lasat open his eyes weakly and look at her as she crouches down. “I will let the bucket here if you don’t feel good.” She says softly and runs his hand on his bald head. Zeb close his eyes at the contact. Kanan is surprised to see she have taken her glove off. “There water and painkillers on the table. Your communicator is on the shelf behind you if you need anything.” 

Zeb nods weakly shivering again.

Hera runs her hand on his head a few more time before she gets up and they both move out the cabin. When the door closes Hera press gently against Kanan left side resting her hand on his chest. Kanan wraps his arm around her waist, enjoying her gentle ad calm presence at his side. They stay like this for a while just coming down from all that stress this day give them.

“We should really go to bed luv.” Hera finally says. “We still have a delivery to make tomorrow.” Her lekkus move softly as she talks, a silent invitation that he doesn’t have to be alone tonight. Kanan holds no secret to her and she knows that this day has been hard on him and he might not want to be by himself. It’s tempting but he knows he won’t be of good companies.

“You are right…” He presses his forehead against her for a moment quietly refusing her invitation but thanking her anyway. “But I think I will stay with Zeb. He is not in shape to be left alone.”

Her lips brush his cheek and he can feel her soft smiles. “Good night Kanan. Try to get some rest.” She whispers before she moves from his side to her room.

“Good night Hera.” He says watching her go. He doubts his decision for a moment still not sure he is the best one to help his friend but he has to try. He moves back in, glad but not surprise that Zeb didn’t event stir. He is gone for the night, at least Kanan hopes.

He looks around the room for a moment, hesitating about lying down on the top bunk but he just knows he won’t get any sleep tonight with the combination of his own mind and the snoring. He finally opts to meditate. He kneels down by the end of the bunk, right beside the table.

“I will be right here, buddy. You are not alone.” He mutters at his sleeping friend before he closed his eyes. This won’t be as restful as a real night of sleep but at least he will feel like he is doing something to help his distress friend in his time of need.

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to show m y mistake (gently please) Always to learning


End file.
